A Million Little Pieces
by StillLovely
Summary: Part of the 100 Themes Challenge. Varying ratings and pairings. Will include some slash.
1. In The Storm

**Author's Note:: **So this is my first contribution to the 100 Themes Challenge. It DOES involve SLASH (leave it to me haha) but it's nothing beyond kissing and holding hands. It is a Kendall/Logan fic, with just a slight hint at James/Carlos. This is set before their Big Time Rush days, maybe when they were fifteen? I didn't really make a definitive decision on their ages, so imagine what you want. Also, Kendall and Logan's relationship is still fairly new. It's kinda short, but it's sweet and I like it. Hope everyone else does too!

**Disclaimer:: **I'm still working with the lawyers over there on an agreement of partial ownership. I'll let you know how it goes!

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96: In The Storm

They had been lying in the grass behind Logan's house for nearly an hour when the rain started. It really was nothing more than a mist at first, barely dusting their skin. But it soon grew stronger, slowly but surely soaking through their clothes.

James immediately ran inside, crying that his hair would get ruined from the moisture. Carlos had followed, laughing heartily as his boyfriend flailed his arms around, as if to ward off the moisture in the air.

Kendall laughed as he watched them go, then turned to his own boyfriend. Logan was lying on his back with his arms folded under his head, eyes closed in contentment. It was as though the cool spring rain did nothing to affect him. Kendall would have loved to just sit in the rain and Logan-watch. However, he knew that they would only get sick and then they wouldn't be able to play in the rematch against Duluth on Saturday.

"Logan," he called softly, waiting for Logan to open his eyes and look at him so he could suggest going inside. Logan obviously had other ideas, as he didn't open his eyes, only turned his head to the side.

"Logan, come on. Let's go inside," Kendall tried again. He watched as a lone droplet roll down Logan's cheek, imitating a tear. Kendall gently wiped it away, causing Logan to smile softly.

"I like it out here," Logan murmured, spreading his arms wide on the grass. Kendall sighed and looked at the warm, cozy house that sat so _so_ close.

"Baby, we're getting soaked!" Kendall exclaimed, tugging on Logan's arm. He looked down at Logan to find the brunette watching him with wide, unblinking eyes.

"Wh-What did you just call me?" he asked slowly, eyes never leaving Kendall's. Realization smacked Kendall in the face and he cringed.

"Nothing. I didn't call you anything, Logie." He ran his hand nervously through his hair, watching as Logan slowly sat up and faced him. Logan's wide, brown eyes were glinting.

"Yes. Yes you did-"

"No. No I didn't," Kendall interrupted, not meeting his boyfriend's eyes.

"Yes, you called me baby." Logan's voice was soft, barely a whisper, and he sounded so lost. "Why would you do that?"

Kendall was quiet for a moment then, heart thumping crazily in his chest, breath coming quickly in response to Logan's question. He couldn't honestly answer why he had done it. It hadn't been a conscious decision, it had come out as easily as…

"I don't really know," he said bashfully, averting his eyes to the ground, cheeks burning with a furious blush. Logan laughed then, softly. He grabbed Kendall's chin and forced it up, making the younger boy look him in the eye.

"I kind of liked it," he whispered, smiling shyly before leaning in to brush a soft kiss against Kendall's lips. Kendall smiled into the kiss before deepening it, pressing a hand to the back of Logan's head to keep him from pulling away.

A sudden clap of loud thunder had then pulling apart, both smiling giddily. Kendall wrapped an arm around Logan and pulled him closer to him. Logan just rested his head on Kendall's shoulder.

"So, you're okay with it then? Me calling you baby?" Kendall asked gently. Logan nodded and Kendall could practically feel the huge smile that had graced the older boy's face.

"I'm more than okay with it," Logan whispered, closing his eyes and pressing closer to his boyfriend.

"Hey!" Carlos called from the back porch, "You guys are aware that it's pouring rain and you're both completely soaked, right?"

Logan laughed and called back "Yes, we know. We just don't care."

"You'll get sick! And I swear, if we miss the game Saturday, I will…"

"Carlos!" Kendall yelled, interrupting the Latino. "We're coming in now. Calm the heck down!"

He stood, then turned to Logan, pulling him off the ground. Logan smiled and intertwined their fingers as they headed for the house. Just as they got to the back steps, Logan stopped Kendall.

"If you call me baby… Can I call you stud muffin?" He asked, completely serious.

Kendall blinked at him once before he busted out into uncontrollable laughter. When he finally got a hold on his laughter, he pulled Logan to his chest, wrapping his arms tightly against the boy.

"I love you," he said softly, leaning in to kiss the shorter boy gently, before pulling him close again.


	2. Broken Pieces

**Author's Note:** So I don't really have a lot to say about this one. It's very different from the first theme I did. This is pretty short and the writing style is completely different from what I usually write. I don't even know what to make of it. It's sad and angsty. Not much else to say about it. Let me know what you think.

**Disclaimer: **The lawyers and I are still discussing joint ownership of the boys. It isn't looking so good. I'll keep you updated.

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76. Broken Pieces

Kendall Francis Knight is eight years old and has very little to worry about. His biggest concerns include learning to make the perfect slap shot and picking the best time to kiss Hannah Smith, the girl he's been crushing on for three months.

He has Mama and Daddy, who love him a lot. He has Katie, who has just turned two and is pretty much attached to Kendall at all times. He has his best friends, James, Logan and Carlos, who he does everything with. Kendall has everything.

Kendall loves to go to school. He isn't the perfect student that Logan is, but he enjoys learning, mostly because Ms. Bixby is awfully pretty and has a nice smile.

However, while going to school taught him some basic knowledge, it didn't prepare him for the _divorce_. It caught him off guard. He didn't even know what divorce was.

One day, he comes from school to hear Mama and Daddy talking in soft voices in their bedroom. He presses an ear to the door to listen, but soon wishes he hadn't.

"Robert, I'm worried about Kendall. How is he going to take you're leaving?" Kendall's eyes widened. Daddy was _leaving_? But what about him and Katie and Mama?

"He'll be fine, Emily. He'll eventually learn that sometimes, two people just stop loving each other."

Stop loving each other? How do you just _stop_ loving someone? Would he grow up and stop loving Mama and Katie too?

"He's only eight years old, Robert. And you're leaving tomorrow morning."

Tears well in Kendall's eyes and he stops listening. Daddy is leaving _tomorrow._ He runs to his room and shuts the door, not caring that the loud slam woke his baby sister and she started wailing. Let Daddy deal with it.

He flings himself onto the bed and cries himself to sleep. He doesn't bother to get up and say goodbye to his father the next morning.

When he gets to school, eyes red and puffy, his friends ask what's wrong.

He can only answer that Daddy is gone, and he's never coming back.

His family is broken into little pieces and it can never be fixed.


	3. Breathe Again

**Author's Note:** Okay, so I kinda really don't like this one. But I'm posting it because it has a back story and it means something to me in a way.

This past weekend, while at a wedding, I had a pretty bad asthma attack. I've had severe asthma since I was four, and I've learned to live with it. It sucks really bad because, when you're a little kid, you just wanna run around and play, not sit and watch your friends. But that was me, still is actually. I can't do anything really strenuous, which rules out anything and everything fun. Anyway, to make a long story short, I suffered a pretty bad attack this past weekend. And while I was sitting in the ER, all hopped up on breathing and pain medication, I got this idea. At first it was just a really angry, ranting note I wrote to a friend that went on and on about how I hated having asthma and just wanted to be normal... It was pretty weird. However, inspiration seems to strike me at the most random of times, and this little story was born. Everything I say about the asthma is true, even Logan's little memory of the first time he was diagnosed.

Like I said, written while I was on a bunch of meds, so excuse the fact that this pretty much sucks!

So, without further ado.

**Disclaimer: **Yeah, the boys' lawyers are being pretty bitchy, so this whole "owning the boys" thing could take awhile.

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10. Breathe Again

Logan can still remember the first time he ever heard the word _asthma._

He was four years old, sitting on his mother's lap in the Emergency Room. His little chest was heaving as he gasped for air, his lungs rattling with each choppy breath. His tiny hand was clenching a nebulizer tightly, pressing it to his mouth, allowing the steam to enter his inflamed airway and begin to relax it.

"_I'm sorry," _he remembers the doctor saying to his distraught mother, _"but it's asthma. It's very severe. He's lucky he made it in time."_

Logan doesn't remember much else from the visit, except that the medication from the nebulizer made him feel so odd. It was like all he wanted to do was sleep, but then again, he didn't, because his heart was racing and his hands were shaking and how on Earth could he even try to sleep?

That was the day he was diagnosed with asthma. An inflammatory disorder of the airways, which causes attacks of wheezing, shortness of breath, chest tightness, and coughing.

It seemed simple. All he needed was a rescue inhaler in his pocket at all times and he would be fine. But it was so much more than that. He couldn't run around without doubling over in fits of coughing. He couldn't spend too much time outside in the cold Minnesota winters without feeling the rattling, wheezing breaths take hold. Cigarette smoke, smog, dust, pollen. It all brought on the coughing, wheezing and chest pain.

The worst part was his attacks. It began with his chest tightening, as though someone had gripped his lungs in a vice-like grip. This caused his chest to hurt, like an elephant was sitting on it, and brought on his short, choppy, gasping breaths. He could barely take in half a breath, let alone a whole one. He would begin to wheeze, sounding like a eighty year old smoker.

The scariest thing was not being able to get to his inhaler quick enough. He would begin to feel dizzy and sick to his stomach. Black spots would dance across his vision. His limbs would just stop working, and if he was standing, he would usually end up on the floor. Panic would slowly but surely set in, causing him to breath even more erratically, which only made the situation worse. His lips would tinge blue, his face would grow pale. The worst part was that he usually began to feel dazed, confused, like his brain had just stopped functioning. A lot of times he would come out of an attack with only half a memory of what had even happened.

Logan's friends knew how bad his asthma could be. They always were careful to not let Logan over-exert himself, especially in the winter months. Logan knew that his three best friends would much rather be outside playing in the snow instead of inside the warm house playing video games, but he never complained. He was just so grateful that they would even do something like that for him.

As Logan got older, he got wilder. How could he not after spending so many years with Kendall, James and Carlos? And along with the psychotic, pre-teen craziness came the boys' love for hockey. There was just something so exhilarating about being on the ice, shooting the puck back and forth.

Logan found this to be a terrible predicament. Of course he would fall in love with a sport that required him to be on the ice, in the cold air, skating around like a maniac. Every aspect of it screamed potentially dangerous to Logan's health.

Despite his reservations, and his parents protests, Logan went out for goalie the year he turned twelve. To his surprise, he was good. And he loved being on the ice, even if it made his chest ache. He somehow managed to play every game, no matter what. He found that using his rescue inhaler before a game greatly decreased his chances of having an attack.

Of course, this method didn't always work, and more often than not, Logan found himself sitting on the bench, gasping for air and trying not to pass out. Kendall, Carlos and James always came to check on him. They refused to play until they could be assured that Logan could breathe and wasn't going to keel over in the middle of the game. Logan would always smile and say he was fine, which he was, once he had the albuterol running through his system.

And that's how it was for so many years. When he was sick, it would go straight to his lungs, usually resulting in bronchitis. He would be stuck in bed for weeks, rather than the two or three days that is normal for everyone else. He'd had pneumonia three times, which was scary. The last time, the winter he was fourteen, had almost killed him. While everyone else was outside playing in the snow, he was inside by the warm fire, curled up with a book, still recovering even after a two week hospital stay. But he lived with it, because there was no miracle cure for asthma. There were only precautions.

Logan spent quite a few nights in the Emergency Room, recovering from a terrible attack. Luckily, these nights were few and far between, and grew more scarce as he got older.

Well, they had been, until now.

Logan sighed as he leaned back in the hospital bed. Tonight had been terrifying, and not just for him. They had been at a new club, dancing the night away, celebrating the release of their second album. Some guys had been smoking and Logan had inhaled more second-hand smoke than healthy, causing one of the scariest asthma attacks of his life. He knew that his attack had probably scarred James, Carlos and Kendall for life. As if they could read his thoughts, the three walked in the door.

"Hey," James said softly, "how are you feeling?"

Logan shrugged. "Okay." He hated how his voice sounded so raspy from all the coughing and gasping for air.

Carlos sank down on the edge of Logan's bed. "Dude, don't ever scare us like that again. I thought you had died!"

Logan took in his three friend's appearances. All three wore haggard looks, fear and worry fighting for dominance in their eyes. They were terrified, and Logan knew it. He just wished he could remember more of what happened. His attack had left him confused and shaken, with only bits and pieces of what had happened in his memory.

"What happened?" He asked carefully, not meeting their eyes. He didn't want to worry them, but he had to know what happened.

"You don't remember?" James asked, sounding slightly upset at the prospect of his genius best friend having memory loss.

Logan shook his head, then winced. His head was still throbbing. "No. I never really remember much after an attack, and I'm a little out of it from the medication they gave me when I came in."

Kendall sank into a chair. "What do you remember?"

Logan squinted his eyes, trying desperately to remember something. "I remember the music, it was loud. And we were dancing. I went to get water 'cause I was starting to feel a little light headed. I think there were guys by the bar smoking."

"There were," James confirmed.

"One of you followed me, right? After that it's a blur. I know I was trying so hard to breathe, and I was starting to panic. I don't really remember anything else, except for when we got here."

Logan watched his friends, waiting for someone to speak, to fill in the gaps.

Carlos spoke up first. "I followed you. You were leaning against the bar, gasping for air, when I found you. You told me you had your inhaler in your jacket pocket, but when I went to look for it, it wasn't there."

Logan's eyes grew wider. "It must have fallen out."

"We looked for it," Kendall continued, picking up where Carlos left off. "When you and Carlos didn't come back, we went looking for you. You were on the floor and Carlos was trying to calm you down. You were panicking. We looked for the inhaler but you didn't have it."

Kendall paused to take a breath. "We called an ambulance. You weren't calming down and your lips were turning blue and you were so pale. It was scary, Logan. I mean, we've seen you have an attack before, but never that bad. You've never passed out before."

"I'm sorry," Logan said softly, looking down at his hands. He hated himself for putting his friends through that. He looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was James.

"Dude, don't be sorry. It's not like you scared the living shit out of us on purpose."

Logan laughed, then doubled over slightly. His chest was in so much pain from all the constricting during the attack. He took slow breaths, until his muscles relaxed.

"I know. I just wish that you guys didn't have to see that. It's scary enough going through it, I can't imagine watching it."

"We're just glad you're okay, Logan. Don't worry about us." Logan didn't miss the slight tremble in James' voice.

"You guys are my best friend. You just watched me have one of the worst asthma attacks I've ever had. I can't not be worried. I know you're probably scared shitless."

They all chuckled as Logan cussed. It wasn't common for the genius, who usually prided himself on not using such useless words.

"Yeah, okay, fine," Kendall agreed, "like I said, it was scary. But we're okay, 'cause you're okay. Just don't do it ever again!"

"Trust me," Logan assured them, "I have no plans to."

"Good!" They exclaimed simultaneously. Logan smiled and tried to fight off a yawn.

"Go to sleep, dude. You look exhausted." Carlos was right, Logan was utterly spent after such a crazy night.

"Okay, but wake me up when we can go home? If I find out someone carried me, I'm gonna kick that someone's ass," he said groggily, eyes already falling shut as sleep started to take over.

"Sure thing, Logie," Kendall said softly, watching his best friend sleep, completely comfortable and able to breathe again.


End file.
